Friday, May 31, 2013

Days 148 - 151: When the Going Gets Terrific!

Contrary to the previous post where I had to deliberately get myself out of a mental slump, I am feeling absolutely topnotch right now. Yup! Music in my ears, music on my lips, a hop and a skip in my step, that kinda stuff.

Reason? Well, not exactly known. I mean, I don't think it is one big reason but believe it is a combination of a few factors over the last four days. Now, maybe the below really warrants a complete post per day vs. the summary, but well... this will have to do because I do have other important things to attend to like catching up on my sleep.

On Tuesday, my team for my next short film 'Aravindum Aarumughamum' was locked and loaded. Now I have my three actors, editor, music director, cinematographer and also photographer for the stills. I also kickstarted the scheduling process, which is going to be the biggest challenge for this project because my editor cum cinematographer is based out of Mumbai and will be flying down just for a few days, my music director is in Chennai and the rest of the cast and crew are involved in everything from full time jobs and MBA classes to Odissi lessons, family lives and baby rearing (the last one being me myself). But in spite of the complexities, just getting the scheduling work started means I have taken another step towards making the film, and I love that! Am super excited about it!

On Wednesday, I hit yoga after almost a 4 week gap. I had skipped the last four weeks due to illness, lack of sleep (with me back at work in full swing and without my mom in town anymore to look after the little one at night, sleep has become a rather rare luxury), and general lethargy. I had still been doing DVD workouts every other day but I had completely ignored yoga for so long. Today, in spite of still being sleep deprived and lethargic, I somehow dragged myself to class. And man! It was probably the worst class I've ever had! I felt that everything - food, water and organs included - were about to come out of my mouth. I wished I would just die but then took that back because dying would mean being born again (as per us Hindus), and that would mean having to practice yoga again which in turn would mean I would have stuff stuck in my throat, ready to pop out, every time my stomach contracts. Sigh. Yup, it was terrible but...the good news was that I survived and I felt totally kickass about it later! I felt so... so... good and also so very stupid for taking such a long break! And the best part? I think I had one of the best nights of sleep. Sure, the little one woke up about 4 times at night but I slept really well in between unlike my usual tossing, turning, disturbed sleeping self.

On Thursday, I went for yoga again and this time, had a kickass class! Not in terms of quality of my postures, but more in terms of my stamina and my disinterest in wanting to die, unlike the day before. In fact I felt very much alive and wanting to live post it! So much so that I got back home and after spending some time with the little one and putting her to bed, I got on to the long overdue editing of my friend's novel. I had done a chunk of it a while ago, and had not gotten back to it post the India trip because I got caught up with work after that. But today I felt super energized and I started working on it again.

On Friday, the nicest thing happened. I was getting out of work when I bumped into this girl at the lift lobby. She was not from my company and I had no idea who she was. But as soon as she saw me .. she was all smiles and told me that she knows me. I was confused, how? Much to my surprise, she tell me that she knows me via my good friend from school. Apparently this mutual friend was the girl's roomie! What are the chances... bumping into someone like that in the lift lobby at work in Singapore and also for her to recognize me, possibly from Facebook pictures or something! Just as I was about to dish out the cliched "Oh the world is so small...." line, she said. "I could recognize you right away. I have read your blog. It is amazing." What. Woah. Now I was really, really surprised! Here is this girl, who was room mates with my childhood friend, who has now moved to Singapore, works for a company which works with mine, is at the lift lobby on the same floor as me right when I am there (my company occupies about 10 floors in that building), has read my blog and actually liked it, had seen my pictures before and recognizes me and gives me a compliment on my blog. Seriously! Before I could gather my thoughts and thank her properly, she hurried away to the meeting she had come for. Wow. Needless to say, it totally made my day.  God bless her!

Like I said, it has really gone from tough to terrific in no time. Totally gonna enjoy it while it lasts! 

Monday, May 27, 2013

Days 144 - 147: When the Going Gets Tough!

OK, so let me be honest.

It hadn't exactly been easy the past few days. I seemed to be rather low on energy, partly for known reasons such as lack of sleep (all thanks to the little one) and partly for unknown reasons. Nett, I have been feeling fatigued, lethargic and not exactly "oh my God, everything is so happy and beautiful"!

So much so that I felt that I had completely wasted away a perfectly nice long weekend. It was a public holiday on Friday, giving a good three day break from work, the kind I would usually fill up with activities and make it productive and fulfilling.

But this weekend passed by without anything much to show. Sure, I had a couple of good dinners, an outing with the little one, some movie-watching, some exercising and some sleeping. I even helped the hubby a little bit on his work by getting back to coding, something that I had not done in the last eight years (FYI, I graduated as a software engineer but never really pursued it post college). I did all of that, yet I ended up feeling.. well, empty.

And then, realization struck. Wait a minute... did I just say that I spend a whole weekend with "a couple of good dinners, an outing with the little one, some movie-watching, some exercising and some sleeping" as well as "coding" and I feel "empty"? Huh?!

What the hell is wrong with me?!

These are exactly the things I would have gloated about if I put them in a different perspective.

Think about it... in the right frame of mind, that list would have been something like the below:

"Excellent long weekend! Am rather tired and tied down right now, so let me do a quick summary!  
a) Discovered a wonderful new joint called Artichoke selling Mediterranean cuisine and with some excellent customer service as well as made my first trip to Fosters in Holland Village which had some really good live music. 
b) Caught up with the hubby over some yummy dinner on two days of the weekend.
c) Watched the little one in fascination as she did a new thing and grew up a little bit every day. For example,  both of us caught an hour's sleep on Saturday afternoon. I usually can't sleep in peace when she is lying right next to me, because I keep worrying whether she would roll off the bed. So I was simply lying down with my eyes closed. She woke up after an hour and wanted to wake me up as I pretended to sleep. First she tried to wake me up by running her little palm all over my face. When that didn't work, she tried scratching my arm again and again. When that also didn't seem to work, she started to pull my hair. And then, when that too failed.. what did she do?! She bulldozed her little head into my face! That definitely got me to stop pretending. I couldn't help but be fascinated by how babies figure these things out! 
d) I watched half of a super lovely film called "Annayum Rasoolum" in Malayalam. It has one of best acting I have seen in Malayalam cinema in recent years, especially one that is so consistently good among all the members of the cast. It also has the best sound design, which I realized has managed to even win the national award. Totally deserving! 
e) I coded! Yes! After a gap of almost 8 years, I went back to being a software enginner for a while, as I coded a few simple things to help the hubby with his work. Felt oh-so-good!

Excellent weekend indeed!" 

See?!

It was all in the head!

Somewhere over the past few days, I had stopped to appreciate things. I am not sure why. But I had.

And it took me to write this blog, before I could realize how stupid it all was. Really, what was I so upset about? Sure I feel sleep deprived and tired and am not feeling like I can do much and haven't even exercised in two days.

But that is OK.

When the going gets tough... you realize it is all in your head.

And then the going gets less tough... ta da dish dooosh!

Smug. (Feeling so much wiser)!

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Day 140 - 143: All Things Small and Beautiful!

It's been a rather interesting few days. Nothing out of the box has happened but I have been pretty happy, over a number of small things.

These include:
1) Enjoying a few different collections of short stories that I am reading, both in English and in Malayalam.
2) Discussing "Aravindum Aarumughamum" with my working team (yes, it does look like I will be making this somewhere in the near future - and by that I mean in the next 1 year).
3) Being asked by two different film makers whether I would be interested in writing screenplays and dialogues for them! One of them was the mainstream director I had written about here, which was pretty cool!
4) Further finetuning my holiday plans.
5) Watching the excitement of my parents as I share my plans for our holiday together.
6) Feeling oh-so-proud when the little one could float, chest up, in the pool with only her head supported, during her swimming lesson.
7) Enjoying my first presentation to senior management after getting back to work post pregnancy.
8) Enjoying my workouts which are primarily only the DVD workouts as I still need to try and figure time to go for yoga, which has taken a backseat for a few weeks now.

Like I said, all small but pretty beautiful!


Sunday, May 19, 2013

Days 138 - 139: Planning for Holidays!

Two holidays are coming up  -one in August and one in October and I spent the whole weekend planning for them. Flights, accommodation, transport, itineraries at the destinations, all of it. One is just with the three of us - the hubby, little one and I and one with the three of us together with both sets of parents. Both are gonna be super duper fun!

The days of planning for a holiday are as much exciting as the holiday itself, I believe!

So I am indeed very excited! 

Friday, May 17, 2013

Days 136 -137: Aravindum Aarumughamum - Scripting!

"Aravindum Aarumughamum" is a Malayalam-Tamil bilingual short film that I am working on currently. I had been having the concept in my head for a while but couldn't really get myself to work on it until now. Usually when I write a script down, it is only after the whole story, including dialogues, get fully clarified in my head. And for that I need time and mind space to sit and think, which are both hard to manage these days.

But finally, it's been done!

I put in a lot of thought to the story over the last couple of weeks during my commute to work and over the last two days, I have finally managed to actually write it down!

In other words, I have a complete script for my bilingual, "Aravindum Aarumughamum"! 

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Day 135: When the 'Industry' Speaks!

I am what you call an amateur film maker. I write, produce and direct films with absolutely no knowledge or training on how these things are to be done. Most importantly, I do it without even the remotest connection with the actual film industry that exists out there.

So when I get feedback from a person in the industry about a film of mine, it means a lot. Like, a LOT.

The last time that happened was probably in Dhaka... when I represented my film Mausams at the Dhaka Internation Film Festival in January 2012. Then I had received very encouraging feedback from professional film makers - from Bangladesh, India and even Japan. Needless to say, that had made feel over the moon.

Today, I received feedback from a film maker from the Malayalam film industry. He had watched Inganeyum Oru Katha and dropped me a congratulatory message on Facebook.  That was already pretty nice of him but later I  saw that he had also shared the film on his own profile which led to surge of views and following comments, many from other assistant directors, digital media artists, scripwriters and others also from the industry.

It took me right above and beyond the moon! It made me feel like real film maker! God bless them all! 

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Day 134: Then the Sketch Happened!

Yesterday the pencils happened, today the sketch happened.

A sketch after so long that my hand started to hurt about quarter way through! Sigh.

But a sketch is a sketch, after all! Pretty happy about that!