Am back in Singapore after that rather exciting and productive week in UAE.
One thing I hadn't mentioned in the last few posts was about how disturbed I was through the trip regarding my daughter. She had an extreme case of flu just after I left which later turned into fever and bronchitis and I was contemplating moving my ticket earlier and getting back to Singapore. More so because the hubby was also travelling for a couple days during the same period. We have a very reliable stay-at-home helper and I am normally confident she would be able to handle everything, but when the little one is sick, that's an altogether different situation.
Long story short, I had a major panic attack when in UAE.
But then I realized how much support I actually have.
The hubby asked me to stay put in UAE and finish off my work. My brother in law and wife, who also live in Singapore, immediately rushed to my place to take over the little one when they heard that she was sick. They visited every day in the absence of the hubby and I, to watch over her. My sis in law even sent me a rather nice message telling me that I must "accomplish my goals". They kept sending me pictures to relieve me of any tension. My helper said she will take care of the little one, that I have nothing to worry and that I should not even consider moving the ticket. My in-laws from India messaged me and told me that they were aware of the little one's condition but didn't want to let me know to avoid me getting upset. They kept sending me their support. Same with my parents.
It's all very interesting because this was the same time my Facebook feed was getting plagued by the International Women's Day and "India's Daughter" BBC documentary news. Really, India is not a country where women are treated with enough respect or equality. BBC didn't have to make any documentary for anyone to realize that, they just have to take a crowded public bus in Kerala, the most literate state in the country. You will come out harassed and enlightened (I don't mean to generalize, but you get the point). But I guess what the documentary might have done is bring forth the patriarchal mindset in the country (I haven't watched it, but that's the gist I have gotten from all that I have seen about it so far).
I guess I have some of that patriarchal mindset instilled in me as well. Because during this time all I was thinking was "She is ill. I am her mother and I am not there. I am not there because I am here on location recee for a film. That's not even real bread winning work. What will everybody say? They are gonna say that the mother wasn't around.... that she went to make a movie of all things!". I am most certain that if I were the dad, while I would have been concerned about my daughter, I at least would not have had any fear of the world asking me what on earth I was doing. Because the world usually doesn't do that to the guy.
But clearly, I was the only who thought that way in the family.
This incident made me really count my blessings and be amazed by the wonderful family I belong to. Not only did anyone not say anything negative during the time, everyone showered me with as much as encouragement as possible. Every single one of them. As a woman, as a mother, as an Indian, I realize that I am one of luckiest ones. I can't thank my family enough for their support and I can't thank God enough for putting me on this side of that fence.
And from the bottom of my heart, I wish the same for all the women - within India and outside. Maybe slowly, steadily, we will get there... one woman at a time.
Happy International Women's Day!
One thing I hadn't mentioned in the last few posts was about how disturbed I was through the trip regarding my daughter. She had an extreme case of flu just after I left which later turned into fever and bronchitis and I was contemplating moving my ticket earlier and getting back to Singapore. More so because the hubby was also travelling for a couple days during the same period. We have a very reliable stay-at-home helper and I am normally confident she would be able to handle everything, but when the little one is sick, that's an altogether different situation.
Long story short, I had a major panic attack when in UAE.
But then I realized how much support I actually have.
The hubby asked me to stay put in UAE and finish off my work. My brother in law and wife, who also live in Singapore, immediately rushed to my place to take over the little one when they heard that she was sick. They visited every day in the absence of the hubby and I, to watch over her. My sis in law even sent me a rather nice message telling me that I must "accomplish my goals". They kept sending me pictures to relieve me of any tension. My helper said she will take care of the little one, that I have nothing to worry and that I should not even consider moving the ticket. My in-laws from India messaged me and told me that they were aware of the little one's condition but didn't want to let me know to avoid me getting upset. They kept sending me their support. Same with my parents.
It's all very interesting because this was the same time my Facebook feed was getting plagued by the International Women's Day and "India's Daughter" BBC documentary news. Really, India is not a country where women are treated with enough respect or equality. BBC didn't have to make any documentary for anyone to realize that, they just have to take a crowded public bus in Kerala, the most literate state in the country. You will come out harassed and enlightened (I don't mean to generalize, but you get the point). But I guess what the documentary might have done is bring forth the patriarchal mindset in the country (I haven't watched it, but that's the gist I have gotten from all that I have seen about it so far).
I guess I have some of that patriarchal mindset instilled in me as well. Because during this time all I was thinking was "She is ill. I am her mother and I am not there. I am not there because I am here on location recee for a film. That's not even real bread winning work. What will everybody say? They are gonna say that the mother wasn't around.... that she went to make a movie of all things!". I am most certain that if I were the dad, while I would have been concerned about my daughter, I at least would not have had any fear of the world asking me what on earth I was doing. Because the world usually doesn't do that to the guy.
But clearly, I was the only who thought that way in the family.
This incident made me really count my blessings and be amazed by the wonderful family I belong to. Not only did anyone not say anything negative during the time, everyone showered me with as much as encouragement as possible. Every single one of them. As a woman, as a mother, as an Indian, I realize that I am one of luckiest ones. I can't thank my family enough for their support and I can't thank God enough for putting me on this side of that fence.
And from the bottom of my heart, I wish the same for all the women - within India and outside. Maybe slowly, steadily, we will get there... one woman at a time.
Happy International Women's Day!
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